Anxiety and Motherhood

Anxiety & Motherhood

HOW MY PREGNANCY HELPED ME THROUGH MY CRIPPLING ANXIETY

Over coming anxiety during my pregnancy…

Long before I was pregnant I seriously struggled with anxiety in my day to day life. I needed to control every aspect of my life and had no room or mental capacity to deal with any unexpected changes. If you are a mother or about to be one you know that this mindset does not go well with the journey of being pregnant.

In many ways my pregnancy saved me. The love i have for my child surpassed any struggles i was dealing with mentally or physically. Whenever i had bad days, and trust me there were many, i would just think of my daughter. I would imagine her face and see her staring at me and suddenly the way my body looked or having the nursery ready in time didn’t matter at all.

Creating a life is a very vulnerable, but very empowering time in a woman’s life. For a lot of new moms you don’t realize this fact until you are holding your baby in your arms. Many times i questioned if i was cut out for this, maybe i wasn’t strong enough mentally to get to the finish line. But like anything in life you soon realize you are strong enough and the things you struggled through yesterday suddenly become a bit easier today.

I knew that in order to get through my pregnancy, without completely having a mental break down, I needed to finally surrender. Surrender to the changes happening in my body, to the many emotions that were running through me daily & inevitably making space for this new version of myself. All of these beautiful changes could not happen if i didn’t let go. For me thats where a lot of my anxiety stemmed from, resistance to change. It pretty much took me my entire pregnancy to realize that the only way out of my anxiety was to feel it all, understand what I was feeling, and move through it. Pushing things under the rug was not an option anymore. The responsibility i had to my baby was too important to not face these insecurities head on. I owed it to myself to finally work through what i had been avoiding.

Once i started to face these emotions of self doubt i started to understand that everything i was going through was only temporary. Like any season in our lives, they are only here for a time and then it’s over. Once i fully understood this i could finally exhale.

I definitely still struggle with my anxiety but my pregnancy really gave me the tools i needed to help over come them. I hope new moms reading this can relate in some way and know that they are not alone. Everything you are feeling is valid and you are strong enough to grow through it all. This season of your life will teach you to enjoy every moment for what it is and to accept whatever the universe throws your way. Believe in yourself. Trust in yourself. Allow yourself to feel it all & know that bad days are normal and OK. You are always stronger than you think.